


The Hellmouth is a BANG!

by HarlequinArtist



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Naruto
Genre: Crossover, F/M, YAHF
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-15
Updated: 2014-04-14
Packaged: 2018-01-19 10:51:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1466749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HarlequinArtist/pseuds/HarlequinArtist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another YAHF, yet this time, Ethan gives Xander a costume that causes a real....bang...in Sunnydale.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Finding a BANGin' Costume

A*N* - I own neither Naruto nor BTVS, they have their respective owners, I'm just playing in the toybox for a little bit. :3

 

Chapter 1 - Finding A BANGin' Costume

Xander watched as Willow and Buffy went deeper into Ethan's Costume Shop. He stood by the door until they were completely out of sight and headed straight for the Accessories section. He had an old set of fatigues he had found at the Thrift Store at home. With an addition of a prop gun, he'd be a non-descript soldier at little to no expense to his road-trip fund. Xander looked around the aisle's looking for the guns, and saw the last plastic machine gun sitting on the shelf. Before he could get to it, some little blonde brat grabbed it and disapeared. Xander moved closer in hopes of finding another gun miraculously hidden somewhere, and muttered a few curses under his breath when nothing turned up.

"Something wrong young man?"

Xander had to suppress the urge to jump and squeak and turned to see the shop owner standing a few feet away from him.

"Don't do that!"

The man grinned unapologetically at him.

"Something I can help you find?"

"Not unless you have any more prop guns in the back."

Ethan glanced at the empty shelf and back to Xander.

"No I'm afraid that was my entire stock, I assure you I have plenty of other costumes to choose from. A pirate perhaps? I have a few Comic Book character's left in stock."

Xander shook his head.

"Not really in my price range, see, I had some old fatigues at home, just needed a gun."

Ethan inclined his head.

"Ah, I see. Perhaps, I can make you a deal, come with me."

Ethan led Xander over to a stand near the cash register, where a mannequin stood in a black cloak with red clouds on it.

"A friend of mind gave me this when he went on a trip to Japan. Some sort of ninja outfit of some kind. Unfortunately, no one seems to be showing an interest in it, and as tonight is Halloween, I'm very keen to sell everything. I'm willing to let the entire costume go for 10 dollars, if you're interested."

Xander studied the costume for a few moments; it was well made and very interesting. He looked at Ethan.

"You've got a deal."

The older man smiled and started removing the costume from the mannequin, folding the cloak and the clothes under it neatly. He put it in a bag and put three boxes in with it, explaining to Xander that it was included with the costume but he hadn't been comfortable leaving it out in the open on the mannequin.

"$10.20"

Xander handed over the money, and Ethan handed him the bag, the receipt and his change. 

"Happy Halloween"

Xander nodded and headed over to the girls, telling Willow he'd meet them later. He jogged home, excited to put the costume on. He unlocked the front door quietly and crept up the stairs, as to not awaken the sleeping drunk lump of lard that was snoring heavily on the couch. He shut his door with a click and dumped the bag out on his bed. He stripped down to his boxers and looked through the contents of the bag, trying to remember how Ethan had had it on the mannequin. He pulled the fishnet shirt over his head first, then the black tank top. The pants, he tried to pull on over his boxers, but they bunched weirdly overtop the material. Xander blushed, pulled the pants off and stripped off his boxers. He pulled the pants up and buttoned them, pulling at the material so Little Xander wouldn't get squashed. The next thing was a medium sized pouch that was attached to a belt, and then the weird sandals. The black and red cloak was next and that zipped up past half of his face. 

Xander turned to the bed and saw that all that was left were the three boxes. The largest one was revealed to contain a blonde wig and a cheap plastic comb. He flipped it onto his head in what he figured was the correct direction and combed the tangles out of it. The bangs were short on the right side, but the left side hung down way past his chin and the rest was pulled into a ponytail at the top of his head. Xander threw the comb back in the box and pulled open the second box. It had a weird looking headband in it. The band was made of a black material with a metal plate attached to it. The plate had a weird symbol engraved into it that vaguely resembled a rock, or a mountain-thing. He put the plate over his forehead, and tied it over the wig in the back. 

The last, and smallest box had a ring in it. The stone was a blue-ish green and had a Chinese character painted in black on it. Xander tried it on various fingers and found that it fit his right index finger the best. 

Xander smoothed the cloak and looked at himself in the mirror and grinned. He thought the costume looked really cool. He scratched his scalp through the wig, and fixed it when it moved then headed back out of the house, heading for Buffy's.


	2. Halloween Goes Out With A Bang!

A*N*- Once again, I own neither Naruto nor BTVS. 

Xander watched his little group of hellions go up to the door of the first house of the night. The little goblin in the front of the pack rung the doorbell and the group of fairies and demons chorused a off-key ‘Trick or Treat!’ The door swung open and Mrs. Patinaski came out, beaming at the group. 

“Oh my, what a scary group of monster’s we have here. Here you go.”

She started handing out candy when the little green goblin grabbed her wrist and snarled. The loose mask morphed into a slimy bumpy skin and the goblin showed off impressive sized yellow fangs. Xander tried to go help, but a sharp pain in his chest and hands stopped him. He looked down at his hands and saw the palms split open, revealing teeth and a small mouth.

‘What the hell…’ Xander though before he suddenly blacked out, hitting the pavement with a sharp thump.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Ice blue eyes blinked open and stared at the night sky. Deidara sat up, and looked around curiously.

“Where the hell am I now, un?”

He stood up and watched the little oni run around chasing people. The thing that stood out most was there wasn’t a trace of chakra anywhere, not even residual. Instead there was a strange ambient energy that gave him the creeps, but that was the only thing his eye was picking up. 

“Xander!”

Deidara turned his head at the yell and saw a red-headed foreigner running towards him. She stopped in front of him hands on her hips.

“Xander, why didn’t you answer me, mister?”

Deidara just lifted a blonde eyebrow at the girl’s audacity. Normally civilians treated the Akatsuki members very warily. Obviously, wherever he was, the Akatsuki were not well known at all. The redhead continued to talk to him in another language until Deidara got fed up and walked away from her. Normally, he would’ve blown her to bits, but there was no use in announcing his presence to unknown enemies. 

Deidara continued his pace down the paved street, using his left eye to study the strange energy that permeated this weird land. From what he had observed so far, there was an ambient energy that was sort of natural to this place. It had been there so long, that the buildings and the plants were seeped in it. There was a second type of energy, that just floated around the walkways and clung to the little oni that were running around. Deidara started to track this second energy curiously, thinking that there might be some sort of power he could harness to finally beat the Sharingan. 

The blonde smirked deviously as he followed the trail. A man stepped into his path, followed by a small group of oni. The man reminded Deidara of Hidan, with the short light-blond and slicked back hair. The man pulled a cigarette out of his mouth and exhaled, narrowing kohl-ringed blue eyes at Deidara. 

“If it ain’t the Slayer’s little minion. What the hell are you supposed to be?”

Spike watched the blonde Scooby stare at him blankly. The boy finally blinked and tried to walk off. 

“Oi! Don’t you try an’ walk off when I’m talkin’ to you! It’s bleedin’ rude, and I’ll rip your bloody throat out, boy!”

The blonde turned, narrowing blue-green eyes at the vampire.

Deidara was about done with this guy screaming at him. It was annoying, almost worse than a hyper Tobi. His mouth twisted in disgust and he reached into the pouch at his hip. 

Spike tensed when the kid reached for something, but his mouth twisted up into a smirk when all he pulled out was a little white sculpture. He snorted.

“Not one for little toys, pet”

The other blonde just smirked and tossed the little sculpture. One of Spike’s minions caught the little thing and stared at it stupidly. Spike got a bad feeling when the thing started to glow and started backing away. The little kids-turned demon seemed to sense something, trotting away from the fledge. Deidara formed the familiar handseal and smirked.

“KATSU!!”

The little sculpture exploded loudly, incinerating the minion and tossing the little demons around. Spike hit the ground hard with the force of the explosion but was already back on his feet, putting more distance between him and the other man. Deidara smirked at him, and Spike snarled before running off. He was more interested in the Slayer, he’d deal with the little upstart later when he was back to being the bumbling nerd. 

Deidara watched the Hidan-clone run away, snickering to himself. He turned back to the strange energy and continued following it. It eventually led him to a small shop, which was radiating the energy like mad. Deidara went inside and stepped out of the way in time for a middle-aged man to crash to the floor. He looked like he’d been worked over pretty good. He heard footsteps and looked up to see another man, with glasses cleaning his knuckles with a handkerchief. 

He looked surprised to see Deidara.

“Xander?”

Deidara sneered. 

“I don’t know who you’re talking about old-man, but I’m not this Xander guy.”

The man’s eyebrows rose and he threw the man on the ground a scowl. 

“My mistake, you look a lot like a friend of mine.” Giles said after recognizing Deidara’s language as a strange dialect of Japanese.

“Finally, someone who doesn’t speak gibberish. What the hell is going on here?”

The man pulled off his glasses and polished them, a wicket gleam twinkling evilly in his eye.

“That man pulled your soul and the souls of others to possess the local children.”

Deidara’s head swiveled around to study the man on the floor, and blue-green eyes narrowed murderously. 

“Ethan, I would suggest you tell me how to stop the spell before our friend here decides to relieve the world of another chaos mage.”

Deidara didn’t understand what he said the to the beat up man, but it made him pale considerably, so he guessed it was a threat. 

“B-break the statue, Ripper.”

Deidara narrowed his eyes, unsure of what the man was saying, and looked up when the other man walked over to a bust in the center of the room. It was an interesting piece, but not as good as anything Deidara came up with. The glasses wearing man shoved the bust, and it shattered as soon as it hit the floor. The energy that Deidara had tracked started to disappear quickly and he started to feel very strange. There was a pulling sensation and he blacked out, unconscious before he even hit the floor.

Giles turned when he heard the thump and saw Xander unconscious on the floor and Ethan had vanished. He pursed his lips and sighed, wondering how he was going to get Xander back to the library.


	3. Revelations are a Bang!

*A.N- Once again, I no own, so no one better sue. I said I was going to at least get one chapter out today, and I have so enjoy and as always I enjoy constructive criticism.

Giles ended up having to half drag Xander back to the library, but it hadn’t been as much of a chore as he had thought. Something about the boy had changed, he was no longer gangly and heavy, but slender, almost androgynous. He set the boy down on one of the couches and went to make tea on the hotplate in his office. A few moments later he heard Xander shuffling on the couch.

“Chikusho!!”

Giles sighed and poured the boiling water over the tea bags and carried the two cups back out to where the boy was sitting. He was leaned over, staring straight down at the floor, his fingers tangled in the blonde wig on his head. 

“I take it you’ve remembered.”

Blue-green eyes pierced him with a flat stare, making Giles stop in his tracks. Xander’s eyes were brown, something had changed if the spell still had a hold of him.

“Xander?”

The looked softened a little and the young man on the couch sighed, rubbing his eyes.

“It’s me, G-man.”

Giles let out the breath he was holding and sat a cup in front of Xander before taking the seat across from him.

“Who did you go as, Xander?”

Xander’s forehead wrinkled and he stopped massaging his temples to pick up the cup of tea. To Giles’ surprise, he drank it plain, instead of dumping a pound of sugar in it as was his norm. 

“A ninja….a bad ninja. But I didn’t know he was bad. I didn’t know anything. That Ethan guy, he just said it was a ninja costume no one wanted,un.”

Giles silently cursed Ethan to a very fiery demise in his head.

“Is there something special about this ninja, Xander? Something powerful perhaps? There has to be a reason you haven’t changed back to your normal form.”

“It was the chakra..”

Giles glanced at him confusedly.

“Pardon?”

“Chakra, an energy the ninja like Deidara use. Abilities fueled by the natural power your body makes. Once you open chakra pathways, you can’t close them.”

Giles nodded.Xander sighed, his thumb brushing over the mouth in his hand and he glanced through his lashes at the Watcher.

“That’s not the only thing. The ninja I went as…Deidara, was special, he had what the ninja call a bloodline limit. An ability that was unique to him and those in his bloodline…he was able to manipulate chakra into clay to make it explode. The way he did it….I think is the reason I didn’t change back,un.”

Giles scooted to the edge of his seat as Xander sat his cup down. Xander held his hands out, balled into fists , wrist up, towards him. He slowly opened his fists and the mouths in his hands opened, one spitting out a small clay spider. 

“Dear lord!”

Giles was out of his seat, holding Xander’s hand by the wrist studying the mouth. 

“Is it connected…?” 

Giles let the question trail off. Xander shook his head.

“No, there’s no throat connected to them, just a mouth. But that’s not all, Giles.”

Xander stood, and Giles backed up a little bit. The boy unzipped the black and red cloak and pulled the tank top and the fishnet shirt over his head. Directly over his heart was a stitched up line surrounded by a black ink tattoo.

“Is that?”

“Another mouth? Yes, it’s connected directly to my heart, where chakra can accumulate the quickest. Deidara had a suicide technique, he called C0 or Kyukyoku Geijutsu. He put his clay in the mouth and blew himself up…the technique has the power equivalent to a large H-bomb, Giles,un.”

Giles paled a little bit and took his glasses off, polishing them. Xander pulled the tank top over his head, folding the fishnet shirt neatly on top of his cloak. He gave Giles a very serious look.

“You can’t tell the girls about this. I know I can’t keep the hands from them, but this thing connected to my heart stays between you and me,un.”

Giles nodded understandably.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Aside from being grossed out, the girls took to Xander's new form easily. Buffy teased him about the long girly hair, and Willow hugged her long time best friend and they settled down for a bit, chatting about the night before everyone headed home.

Xander walked through the front door with the Akatsuki cloak and the fishnet shirt over one arm. He could hear the T.V. blaring loudly from the living room. He headed for the stairs but his father came around the corner out of the kitchen, bottle of Johnnie Walker Red in hand. 

“The fuck you think your doin’ gettin’ in this late. Wakin’ the whole fuckin’ house up with your noise.”

Some of Deidara’s personality had obviously stayed behind and mixed in with Xander’s.

“I could hear the T.V. two houses away from here Dad, you wouldn’t have even known I came in if you hadn’t seen me first, un. “

Tony Harris swung, hitting Xander in the side of the face. A blow that would have once sent him into the wall, only slid him back an inch or so. Xander’s tongue snaked out and lapped at the small trickle of blood at the corner of his mouth. Xander grinned at his father and started cracking his knuckles.

“Huge mistake, asshole”

Tony swung again, ready to punish Xander’s insolence, but the blonde caught the punch and sent him into the wall.

“You every fucking touch me again, Father, and I’ll kill you. Got it, un?”

Tony just nodded, blinking warily. He lumbered into the living room, back to his chair. Xander watched him go with a shake of his head, and headed up to his room. He hung the Akatsuki cloak up and left the fishnet shirt on his desk. He undid the belt and put the pouch of clay on the bedside table and the hitai-ate was left next to it. He kicked off the sandals and crashed onto the bed. He gave a long suffering sigh, school was going to be hell the next day.


	4. The Whole SheBang!

A*N* - Once again, I own nothing. Sorry for not updating in a while, I got caught up in school and work.

Xander stared at his reflection, making a slight face. He had shorn the long blonde hair to shoulder length and while it looked better, it was still a little girly. He refused to cut it too much, he didn’t want to end up looking like the Kyuubi no Gaki. 

Xander face-palmed. He was thinking like Deidara again. He put the kunai down and pulled the shoulder length hair into a low rat-tail. He grimaced and pulled it out before pulling a small amount into Deidara’s top-knot-esque style leaving the rest to fall around his shoulders. Fuck it, he didn’t have time to stand in front of the mirror all day like an Uchiha. Xander snorted and pulled on a black t-shirt to go with the black jeans and hit some kunai on his person. He strapped on his clay pouch and vaulted out of the window to head to the highschool.

He walked into the library.

“Morning G-man, un.”

“Good morning Xander”

The blonde threw himself into his chair and saw the clay spider he’d left on the table last night. He pushed it around with his finger, charging it with a little chakra and it started to scuttle around on the table.

The door swung open and Willow walked in. She stopped and blinked at Xander.

“Wow Xan, you’re here way early.”

The blonde sighed looking grumpy.

“It’s a ninja thing, once the sun rises, I can’t sleep anymore. I’ve jogged around town, cut my hair and showered. Still way too early.”

Willow giggled.

“Well, there IS an upside to this ninja thing.”

Xander glared and the redhead laughed. The blonde scowled deeper and crossed his arms, sulking in his seat. 

“Oh, Xander?”

The blonde looked up as Giles came out of his office.

“Yeah, un?”

“ I wanted to test the extent of your physical abilities. If you would come to the library during your free period with Buffy to spar, please.”

Xander thought about it, picking up the spider off the table.

“Yeah, okay, un.”

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Xander showed up at his break and paused outside of library doors.

“Giles, are you seriously wanting to me to spar against Xander? He’ll get hurt! No way whatever Ninja person he dressed up as, he’s not possibly as strong as a Slayer.”

Xander sighed and slammed the door open startling the Watcher and his Slayer. There was a presence of dark chakra in the upper stacks, Xander figured it was Deadboy.

“Actually, most ninja are very strong. They’re trained that way from a young age.”

Buffy glared at him for eavesdropping but Xander didn’t even flinch, he just undid his clay pouch and sat it on one of the tables. He unarmed himself completely, even though he was annoyed at Buffy, he wasn’t going to pull a kunai on her.

“Good Lord Xander, you had all that on while in school?”

Blue eyes locked on him.

“I feel….unsafe without them.”

Giles blinked at him and nodded. Xander drew closer to them, his footsteps not making a sound.

“Why is Deadboy here, un?”

Giles blinked at him.

“How?...”

“I can sense him.”

“You can…..really?”

Xander nodded.

“He is a mass of dark chakra……kuso teme..”

“Watch your mouth….boy.”

Angel leaned against the rail scowling darkly at the blonde. He made Xander feel like Deidara felt when confronted with Itachi. Xander didn’t like that at all.

“You wanted me to spar with Buffy, un?”

Giles blinked at the sudden change in attitude and nodded.

“Yes, just hand to hand for now.”

Buffy crossed her arms stubbornly . Xander sighed and looked at her.

“Surely you’re not scared of me….are you Buff?”

The Slayer scowled at the goad and determined that Xander needed to be taught a lesson. Not only about how dangerous a Slayer could be, but not to badmouth her boyfriend. She was up in a flash and attacked the blonde. Xander caught the fist meant for his head and just smiled at the Slayer.

“Going to have to do better than that, un.”

Buffy growled and swung again harder and to her it seemed Xander disappeared in thin air. Xander landed on the rail, not making a sound. He was just as amazed as Giles was, though not surprised. If Deidara could take on Team Gai with no arms, one Slayer wouldn’t be a problem. Xander leaned forward slightly and Angel’s haymaker brushed the top of his ponytail. He looked sideways.

“Ah ah ah, Deadboy, that’s cheating, un. This is between me and Buffy.”

Angel attempted to punch him again and Xander dodged out of the way. Xander punched the vampire knocking him over the railing and did a side flip to land back in front of Buffy. He had memories of fighting Uchiha Sasuke, he had memories of almost winning against Uchiha Sasuke and the Slayer and her pet vampire moved like genin. His instincts were telling him to put them both down, permanently, but he knew better. They weren’t his enemies and he wasn’t Deidara, he wasn’t going to kill them or turn them into true art, but he was going to teach them both a lesson.  
Giles watched stunned as Xander disappeared in a flash and caught Buffy by the throat and held her of the ground. Angel lunged and Xander threw her into him. Buffy picked up a sword and got up off of Angel. Xander disappeared when she swung at his head and she felt a strong fist grasp her wrist and twist the blade out of her grip. She was about to wrench out of his grip when she felt a sharp point at her throat.   
Angel paused when he saw Xander holding the kunai to Buffy’s throat, a bead of blood rolling down her neck from her aborted movement. The look in the former jokester’s eyes chilled his unbeating heart. The blue orbs were almost emotionless, slightly annoyed, but otherwise emotionless. He knew that Xander was proving a point.

“ I believe that is enough Xander, let her go.”

Xander flitted away from the girl, who swung as soon as her wrist was released. He appeared on the railing looking at the three. 

“I do not suggest thinking of me as the old Xander anymore. I have the memories of a man who was trained from age six to be a tool of Death. Stop trying   
to teach me a lesson, or you will be the one getting taught, and I make sure my lessons stick, un.”

"Were we even a challenge to you?"

Xander looked at Angel sharply, then replied with a small grin.

"Iie, you are like genin, children, to me. Sure you have the skill and supernatural strength, but you are not on par with what Deidara's used to."

Angel’s eyes widened and Xander laughed. He slipped off the railing and walked over to the table to re-arm himself.

“Did you learn what you wanted to, G-man?”

Giles took off his glasses to polish them.

“I-I should say that I have Xander, thank you for your time.”

“It’s nothing, see you later.”

Xander walked out the doors with his hands stuffed in his jeans pockets. Once the doors stop swinging Buffy screamed in rage and slammed her hand on   
the table, collapsing it.


End file.
